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Lugunica Newspaper Vol. 3 Ram and Rem’s Hectic Birthday Celebration

Lugunica Travel Plan (1)

“Circumstances of the Journey”

Rem: “Nee-sama, nee-sama, it’s terrible.”

Ram: “Oh my, what’s got you all worked up, Rem?”

Rem: “So, to tell the truth, it seems there’s some talk of having everyone in the mansion travel somewhere to celebrate Ram and Rem’s birthday.”

Ram: “Is that so, going on a trip…… not a birthday party only, but going so far as to show that much consideration. Truly, one cannot express enough thanks to Roswaal-sama.”

Rem: “Ah, nee-sama…… the one who suggested the trip was Subaru-kun……”

Ram: “Barusu did?”

Rem: “Yes. Of course, Roswaal-sama offered his support as well, but it was Subaru-kun who mentioned it first. Rem couldn’t help but be deeply impressed.”

Ram: “It can’t be helped, then. It’s a bit bothersome that it was Barusu’s idea, but if it makes Rem that happy, then Ram will go along with it.”

Rem: “Thank you, nee-sama. So the next matter to discuss, then, is that Subaru-kun asked if nee-sama and Rem would choose a place they’d like to travel to.”

Ram: “Indeed, given the rare opportunity to go on a trip, the thought of allowing Barusu to choose the destination doesn’t seem appealing. Ram and Rem should choose something together.”

Rem: “Yes! Nee-sama, what sort of place would you like to go and see?”

Ram: “Indeed, it would be……”

Rem: “It would be……”

Ram: “Looking at the available space, that should be something discussed not here, but in the next article.”

Rem: “Amazing, nee-sama…… Rem is very impressed!”

Lugunica Travel Plan (2)

“Watergate City Priestella”

Rem: “So with that, Rem would like to think of a vacation destination, together with nee-sama.”

Ram: “You seem to be enjoying this quite a bit, Rem. It’s very cute.”

Rem: “Yes, it’s a rare opportunity, so Rem would like to turn it into wonderful memories with nee-sama and Subaru-kun. Hence, as the first candidate…… how about Priestella?”

Ram: “Priestella…… one of the Six Great Cities of Lugunica, the Watergate City, then.”

Rem: “With many waterways flowing through a large city, it seems one can move throughout the city on dragon boats pulled by water dragons.”

Ram: “Water dragons…… similar to ground dragons, they’re water-dwelling dragons raised by humans. Unlike ground dragons, they have ferocious temperaments, but Ram has heard that the water dragons in that city have been raised from eggs by humans, so they’re quite well-trained.”

Rem: “Making one’s way around the town, with the clear water rippled by the dragon boats, would be quite elegant; Rem thinks it would be nice!”

Ram: “The origin of the name Watergate is the Tigracy river right next to the city, and the large flood gates that regulate the vast amount of water that flows from it into the city.”

Rem: “With the intermingling with the Kararagi city state just on the other side of the river, it looks like the Kararagi culture has established itself in some parts of the city. It seems like something that Subaru-kun would be very interested in…… nee-sama, wouldn’t you like to choose Priestella as the vacation destination?”

Ram: “Sightseeing together with Rem in a pretty city of water sounds like fun. But, making Barusu happy doesn’t sit well with Ram. Let’s put that one on hold.”

Rem: “On hold……. understood. Well then, Rem will suggest a place that will be more satisfying for nee-sama next time!”

Ram: “So full of motivation. Rem is cute, so let’s draw this out a bit longer.”

Lugunica Travel Plan (3)

“Flanders, the Ground Dragon Capital”

Rem: “The next candidate is the Ground Dragon Capital, ‘Flanders’!”

Ram: “And here is another of Lugunica’s Six Great Cities. A city in the eastern part of Lugunica, it’s point of interest is, just as its name suggests……”

Rem: “Yes, it’s a city with many ground dragons. Originally, ground dragons largely did not inhabit the wilds in other countries…… It seems that it’s due to exports from Flanders that they spread explosively throughout the world.”

Ram: “Kararagi had their ‘Rygar’ Great Dogs, Vollachia had their ‘Faro’ Red Bulls, and Gusteko had their ‘Mafmaf’ Silver Bears, but it seems that ground dragons, being suited to any land, are prized in all countries.”

Rem: “No matter how you look at it, the highlight of Flanders is how the people coexist with the ground dragons. All throughout the town there are mechanisms that are powered by ground dragons; even outside the ground dragon industry, ground dragons fill valuable roles, and so on……”

Ram: “Even simply going on a long ride together with Rem, though the Haikrala Plateau that’s well-known for its scenery, seems like it would be delightful.”

Rem: “Yes, Rem, too, is looking forward to going on a long ride with nee-sama…… Speaking of that, the time that Rem rode on a ground dragon together with Subaru was fun as well.”

Ram: “……Indeed.”

Rem: “Subaru-kun was surprised at first by the height and speed of ground dragons, but when he got used to it, he was excited right away…… The way Subaru-kun gets ahead of himself is cute…… Ah, nee-sama, what’s the matter?”

Ram: “Due to a matter of personal convenience, Flanders is out, then. Let’s move on to the next one.”

Rem: “Ah, yes, understood. Next time for certain, nee-sama will be enchanted!”

Lugunica Travel Plan (4)

“Picktat, City of Commerce”

Rem: “Rem’s apologies that it’s lacking in unexpectedness. The next candidate is……”

Ram: “The City of Commerce, ‘Picktat’, one of Lugunica’s Six Great Cities, then.”

Rem: “……! Nee-sama, how were you able to tell what Rem’s next thought was?”

Ram: “Silly. Something like this is easy. When it concerns Rem, the only thing Ram doesn’t understand is your taste in men.”

Rem: “Very impressive, nee-sama. And just as you’ve said, what Rem wanted to suggest next is Picktat. A city adjacent to the Vollachia Empire to the south, it’s the most thriving commercial center in the Kingdom of Lugunica.”

Ram: “Lugunica doesn’t have very good relations with Vollachia, but fortunately, thanks to the pact with the Divine Dragon, there are sufficient connections to allow for trade.”

Rem: “The ‘Dance of Silver Flowers’…… Just like the “Sword Demon’s Love Song”, it’s one of the places that became a stage for the Sword Demon’s love story. Rem would certainly love to make a pilgrimage there.”

Ram: “A p… ‘pilgrimage’…… What does that mean?”

Rem: “Oh, it’s something that Subaru-kun taught Rem. After learning about people and places through the songs of minstrels, and places one has learned of through reading legends, a ‘pilgrimage’ refers to when one travels around the actual locations, it seems.”

Ram: “Somehow, it seems like the term holy land has been cheapened.”

Rem: “But Rem is very interested…… Going to place flowers at the famed stone bridge where the Sword Demon crossed blades with ‘Eight Arms’, or the spire where the black dragon appeared……”

Ram: “Here Ram was thinking that it would be more of a cute wish like wanting to go shopping, but that rascal Barusu has been giving strange ideas to Rem……”

Rem: “On that note, nee-sama, there are other stories about Picktat……”

Lugunica Travel Plan (5)

“A tour of famous locations”

Rem: “Rem’s apologies, nee-sama…… she forgot herself in the excitement.”

Ram: “It’s alright. Please cause some trouble for your big sister now and then, like a little sister should.”

Rem: “Nee-sama, you’re so kind…… but it’s all been suggestions from Rem from the start, and not very good ones at that. Nee-sama, isn’t there somewhere that you would like to go?”

Ram: “A place Ram would like to go…… Mhmm. Now that you mention it, the tree so vast that it pierces the clouds, ‘Flugel’s Great Tree’ was something to see.”

Rem: “Ne, nee-sama, Flugel’s Great Tree was, um……”

Ram: “Barusu snapped it, didn’t he. Honestly… well in that case, how about the Gina mountain range, that legends say is where the ‘Divine Dragon’ Volcanica dwells?

Rem: “That would be wonderful. But…… that place is a mining center for mana stones, so it’s impossible to enter without permission from the kingdom.”

Ram: “Ah, that’s right. It had completely slipped Ram’s mind. Next would be the Pleiades Observation Tower where the ‘sage’ lives, the Augria Sand Dunes……”

Rem: “Even the current ‘Sword Saint’ returned empty-handed, and that’s rumored to be a nest of mabeasts.”

Ram: “It might be fun to go beyond those dunes and sprinkle some sand on the witch’s shrine, then.”

Rem: “……Nee-sama, would it be a mistake to guess that you’re joking?”

Ram: “Oh my, you noticed? You’re so cute when you’re enthused, Rem. Besides, even without bothering with a trip, Ram is sufficiently satisfied.”

Rem: “Nee-sama……”

Ram: “After all, everything that’s important to Ram is here in this place.”

Rem: “Nee-sama…… Yes, Rem feels exactly the same way!”

Ram: “Also, going on an outing is tiring. The mansion really is the best.”

Rem: “Honestly, nee-sama…… That part of you that’s a homebody is wonderful.”

Hectic Birthday Celebration Preparations (1)

Roasting a Hundred-Faced Bird

Subaru: “So with that, for Ram and Rem’s birthday party, we’re going to do our best to come up with a meal that will knock their socks off.”

Emilia: “Mhmm, I think that’s a rea~lly good idea. The two of them are always taking care of me, too, after all, and I haven’t been able to do anything for them. So we have to come up with some luxurious food that will delight them.”

Subaru: “That’s the spirit, that’s the spirit! So, what kinds of recipes do you know, Emilia-tan? Personally, I’m really curious about it!”

Emilia: “Leave it to me. I’ve got one that’s just right for celebrating…… and it’s called ‘Hundred-Faced Bird Roast’!”

Subaru: “Just the sound of it makes it seem like a feast of impressive scale has jumped onto the stage, doesn’t it!? Not a seven-faced bird, but a hundred-faced bird!? Isn’t that too greedy!?” (note: ‘seven-faced bird’ would usually be translated as ‘turkey’)

Emilia: “Seven-faced bird? I’m sorry, I don’t really understand what you’re saying.”

Subaru: “Ah, well, let’s just accept that as a culture gap. So, what kind of meal is roasted hundred-faced bird…… There’s not much room for the imagination!”

Emilia: “Hm, that’s not true at all. This is a rea~lly difficult meal to prepare. If you underestimate it, Subaru, even you could wind up in real trouble.”

Subaru: “O~h, really? Now I’m a little unsure if I should believe you or not… what’s it made of?”

Emilia: “The ingredients are a hundred-faced bird, garnic and solte, and then flower nectar!”

Subaru: “Ah, when you put it like that, it sounds like it’s actually a reasonable meal…… Hmm, Emilia-tan? Why have you changed into an outfit that it’s easy to move around in?”

Emilia: “Hm? Well I have to go catch a hundred-faced bird first, don’t I? Leave it to me, I’ll be back by supper!”

Subaru: “Wha, Emilia-tan!? Emilia-ta~n! Oh, this is no good!”

Hectic Birthday Celebration Preparations (2)


Subaru: “Since Emilia’s up and run off, I can’t deny that it feels like our plan is already on the verge of running aground, but I’m not the kind of guy to give up at a time like this. Our next guest is this well-known person here!”

Beako: “Who on earth are you explaining to, I suppose? More importantly, why does Betty have to play along with this farce, you know?”

Subaru: “Don’t say things like that, Beako. Ram and Rem are always taking care of you, too, right? Honestly, with things going like this, I was thinking I’d picked the completely wrong person on this when I called you, but let’s just accept that and work together.”

Beako: “With the way you’ve been talking, there’s no way that things would go like that, I suppose! ……Regardless, I understand what you are thinking, you know. Let’s get this over with quickly, so Betty can get back to spending dreamy time with Bubby, I suppose.”

Subaru: “Ah, ah, we can’t be thinking of ourselves at a time like this. Anyways, please help me out here, Beako. What kind of recipes do you know?”

Beako: “Right to the point then, I know how to make sweet, enchanting fruits, and fluffy frozen dessert, you know.”

Subaru: “Right after the hundred-faced bird, it’s already time for dessert!?”

Beako: “Even if there’s no bread, as long as I can eat sweets, I’ll be satisfied, I suppose.”

Subaru: “It’s kinda amazing ‘cause given your hairstyle, it doesn’t even sound odd when you say that. Umm, how do you make it and what’s the ingredients……”

Beako: “You gather the fruit you like, and the frozen dessert, you know. Then you throw them into the same bowl, boom! And then it’s ready, I suppose.”

Subaru: “I guess so!”

Beako: “O~h, it’s so sweet and chilly, I just can’t stand it, you know. I’d like to share some with Bubby too, I suppose…”

Subaru: “And you’re gonna go and eat it all up right here, too?!”

Hectic Birthday Celebration Preparations (3)

Nostalgic Meat Pie

Subaru: “I can’t believe this; there’s been so little progress with the situation it’s almost impressive. Emilia’s in the forest, Beako’s in the Forbidden Library, with things like this, what can I……”

Roswaal: “It see~ms you’re troubled, Subaru-kun.”

Subaru: “Roswaal! Am I glad to see you…… am I glad to see you? I’m deeply concerned, but right now, I’m kinda worried about what to do for the meal for Ram and Rem’s birthday celebration.”

Roswaal: “I see, I see, I understand the situa~tion. In other words, you’re seeking recipes for a meal to make for the two of the~m?”

Subaru: “Yeah! That’s where we are. So, Ros-chi, you got any ideas?”

Roswaal: “Leave it to me~. Passed down through the generations in our family, our special dish for celebrations is known as ‘Hundred-Faced Bird Roast’……”

Subaru: “And we’re already into repeats! Also, we already covered Fluffyfluffy made from fruit and frozen dessert, so you don’t have to bring that up, either!”

Roswaal: “Oh dear, how sad…… In that case, perhaps there is something we could try. Ho~w does a meat pie sound?”

Subaru: “Sounds great! I’m shocked to suddenly hear something so normal, but it’s great!”

Roswaal: “You make it by putting minced meat and chopped anions into the pie dough, and adding mushrooms and tometo sauce will make the flavor stand out, wo~n’t it?”

Subaru: “And it’s really done so properly I’m amazed! Do you cook or something?”

Roswaal: “So~metimes. This is something that, a long time ago, a girl who took care of me a little while used to make o~ften. Such a nostalgic flavor. Do your best to make it deli~cious.”

Subaru: “For sure! You really are seriously useful now and then, aren’t ya! With things going like this, make sure you look forward to the main event!”

Roswaal: “I am indeed. …As much as if it was a competition for top spot in this mansion.”

Hectic Birthday Celebration Preparations (4)

Nee-sama’s Steamed Yams are the Best in the World

Subaru: “So, we’ve been dealing with this and that…… It sorta feels like it’s going to turn out to be something with no sense of unity……”

Rem: “At times like that, please leave it to Rem, Subaru-kun!”

Subaru: “Rem! Ah, I really appreciate the thought, but this is something that you and Ram can’t be part of……”

Ram: “You intend to make Rem an outcast? It seems that you do not value your life.”

Subaru: “You’re saying that while you know exactly what I meant, aren’t you!? It’s a birthday party for you two, so you can’t help out with it! Comprende?!”

Rem: “‘Comprende’……? Never mind, setting that aside, you are underestimating Rem too much, Subaru-kun. Rem understands her role and is carrying it out as she should.”

Ram: “Therefore, helping with the cooking is out. Instead, Ram and Rem will teach you a recipe.”

Subaru: “Seriously!? That’s…… just barely on the safe side! Great, what’s the recipe?”

Rem: “Yes! Right to the point, it’s nee-sama’s best-in-the-world steamed yams!”

Subaru: “I thought so! The method would be…… put solte and yams into a pot, take it to a light boil, and when the skins start to come off, you’re good. It’s quite simple!”

Ram: “It’s not as simple as it sounds, you know. Go ahead and give it a try.”

Subaru: “Sure, I’ll give it a shot! Watch this, watch this…”

Ram: “……Ah.”

Subaru: “Would you quit making me feel like I’m doing it wrong!? 

Rem: “Uh…… Th, that’s not right…… For this, Subaru-kun, you at least must do your best, Subaru-kun, or it was all for nothing…… Uuh!”

Subaru: “It’s that bad even for you, Rem!? Darn it, just watch me until it’s time for the real thing! I’ll get better at it for real, just wait and see… see… see.. (fading into the distance)”

Ram: “Good grief, what a noisy man.”

Rem: “But, since that, too, is something he’s doing for nee-sama and Rem, Subaru-kun is wonderful.”

Ram: “Your smile is the best feast Ram could hope for, Rem.”

“A Greeting from Ram and Rem”

Rem: “Once again, everyone, thank you sincerely for coming to the store for nee-sama and Rem’s birthday event.”

Rem: “Speaking honestly, Rem is actually still a bit bewildered. She isn’t very fond of the thought of her own birthday, you see. It’s only natural to celebrate nee-sama’s birthday, but due to being twins, when Rem tries to let her own birthday pass unnoticed, nee-sama looks very lonely, so……”

Ram: “Oh, Rem, you really are such a troublesome girl.”

Rem: “Nee-sama……”

Ram: “There’s no need to take it so seriously. Ram is fine simply having you together with her at her side, and seeing that you are well. That alone is blessing enough.”

Rem: “……Yes, Rem feels the same. More than before, she’s now able to look at things just a bit more optimistically.”

Ram: “Is that thanks to Barusu as well?”

Rem: “Yes! That’s right! It’s thanks to Subaru-kun and nee-sama!”

Ram: “Ha! How annoying.”

Rem: “Nee-sama?”

Ram: “It’s nothing. However, in truth, it seems that Barusu was involved in the plan for this birthday event as well, and Ram wonders if a dose of Barusu isn’t mixed into the exhibition in this gorgeous event venue.”

Rem: “A dose of Subaru-kun…… Somehow, Rem’s heart is starting to beat faster.”

Ram: “Rem.”

Rem: “Ah, Rem’s apologies, nee-sama. But, that’s true. Subaru-kun came up with so many different kinds of ideas…… Rem, too, helped out with these decorations, and did all sorts of things to help with the preparations.”

Ram: “Is that so. ……Is that so? Even though it’s Ram and Rem’s birthday celebration?”

Rem: “Yes. Subaru-kun was very cute when he was working so hard, and Rem thought it would be faster and cleaner, and turn out better if she did it herself, so she couldn’t help it……”

Ram: “……Is that so.”

Rem: “Ah, but Rem made sure it was all done very casually so Subaru-kun wouldn’t find out. Actually, Rem helped out with the cake and merchandise as well. Oh, and then, and then……”

Ram: “With the way things are going, it’s difficult to say how much of Barusu’s hard work was put to use.”

Rem: “Oh, and also! Please listen to this, nee-sama! The truth is, Subaru-kun……”

Ram: “Well anyways, Rem is cute when she’s like this, so Ram is satisfied.”

Rem: “So then, if you can believe it, Subaru-kun…… Nee-sama, are you listening?”

Ram: “Yes, yes.”

>>The End<<

One thought on “Lugunica Newspaper Vol. 3 Ram and Rem’s Hectic Birthday Celebration

  1. Yea I can see how this has to be non-canon due to not matching the timeline, but Damn was this entire thing adorable from beginning to end.

    I smiled quite a bit, thank you for translating this.


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